i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
