After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
