john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
