yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
