honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
