Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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