i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
