fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
