so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
