C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize