We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
