The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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