i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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