he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize