Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
