Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
