you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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