My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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