why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
sex in a hospital.. check
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
