it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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