Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
