Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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