This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think people are normalizing furries
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
