thus making me awesome and them whores
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
