He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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