Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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