i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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