Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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