what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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