i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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