The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
