ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Farmville is her only friend.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
