you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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