He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
