have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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