All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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