Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You made out with two different species that night
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
