Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
