So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
