He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
