Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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