Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
