I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
