Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize