So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
