great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
