Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
