How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
