I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
