I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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