Don't make out with my wife yet
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
