Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
