i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i've created a new STD.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
