If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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