I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
