You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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