your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
