Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
