When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
