so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How does one acquire holy water?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
